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I recently met a guy with a sexual secret. He was 39, in great shape, and in his spare time was a CrossFit athlete. But he had diabetes, and he told me that it made him impotent. Besides, an erect, on-demand, rock hard schlong that could go for hours? I was in.

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Exploring Brooklyn's Private Masturbation Booths

Accidental Intercourse with Stripper

Underneath the Gowanus Expressway, in an area generously included in Sunset Park but really not much more than a detritus-strewn, completely forgotten, and rarely traversed stretch of 3rd Avenue, sit a curious collection of shops, glass windows and brick walls routinely rattled as wheelers hurtle by just 10 feet above. Along on a stretch between 39th and 24th Streets, there are eight of these shops, a rate of nearly one per block. They're sex shops, like the ones you could once find in Times Square. The kind that advertise private viewing booths for when the laptop is busted and the WiFi is out and the lock on your bedroom is broken and the bathroom is in use and your imagination is unable to conjure up anything and… you get what I'm getting at. More importantly, how do these places, with a clearly dying business model, sustain themselves? And why did they all wind up so close together?

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Years ago I remember hearing a story about a girl I grew up with fucking herself with a cucumber. That tale always stuck with me until I stuck one in me. This was back in my pre-intercourse days so it wasn't as romantic an experience as I imagined it would be, but it got the job done. When you can't afford toys or the real thing's not available, you've got to think outside of your box girls, and get creative.

When she came up to me she immediately started touching my penis. While performing the lap dance she unzipped my pants this has never happened to me before during a lap dance. Before I knew what was happening she was trying to have intercourse with me for no additional money.